I’d Be Happy To…
For $400 an Hour

16 September 2015

Show me the money! Sony Pictures
Show me the money!

Yesterday I got an email asking for a favor. I’ve never met this particular person before, but they had this revolutionary new approach to relativity that could explain away dark matter and dark energy. Could I please just read through the 40-page tome and give them feedback. It’s so simple it must be right. They just need a little help with the details. I get similar emails about once a week. Please look at this theory, if you could just fill in the math, if you just read it you’ll see I’m right. Usually they call upon the importance of their work to urge me to do it. Sometimes they kindly offer to make me a coauthor of their paper. Not once have any of them offered to pay me.

I usually just ignore these emails, but I think I’ll start responding. I’d be happy to, for $400 an hour. Paid in advance.

If you are emailing me, it’s presumably because you know that I’m trained in astrophysics. Maybe you’ve come across my blog, or you saw me listed on my university’s website. I have a skill you’d like access to, and you’re asking for personal feedback on work that will take time to understand and analyze. Paying $400 an hour for such work is actually quite reasonable. Whether or not you agree, that’s my going rate.

Like most scientists, I got into my field not for the money, but because it’s what I’m passionate about. I’m fortunate to be employed as a scientist so that I can make a living doing what I love. And there’s a great deal I’ll do for free because of that love. You want me to give a talk about astronomy or physics? I’d be happy to. Have a question about my field, I’ll try to answer it. Want me to talk science on your podcast or TV show, I’ll try to fit it into my schedule. The universe is an amazing place, and I’ll do what I can to tell the world just how amazing it is.

But our time on this rock is limited, and in my case I can either spend my spare time communicating science to the general public, or I can spend it working on your pet theory.

So, you want me to vet your personal theory? As they say, show me the money.